Thief-vorobyshka, or how to wean a child to misappropriate
Why attracts others? Psychology of child stealing
The child finds it difficult to understand why the teacher would permit him to take home all of what he did today — drawings or something Kalendae them from clay, and pencils, which he drew, or the clay will not allow it.
Growing up, the child learns to understand the difference between personal and public. Just little need to explain it all the time. And, not just explain, but to deny without asking to borrow someone else’s.
When the child is all right, he’s healthy — it’s “age” theft is only a small episode in your life in the future, disappearing once and for all.
But if the child has some problems that it cannot resolve on their own, the kid chooses the theft as a way to distract him from his personal problems. This is usually the theft is not “for show”, and “secretly”. Such a theft is generally peculiar guys, who are soon to go to school. Growing up, they strive to find new friends. But it happens that they don’t find those peers that need their feelings and friendship, and as a result feel lonely and useless. Therefore, in order to draw attention to themselves, they don’t just steal, and generously bestowed stolen, not even using it.
Feeling lack of attention and love, the child may steal the thing and the man he loves. This thing is like replacing the child’s attachment to its owner.
Sometimes the cause of theft is a cherished dream . A child can’t resist the temptation and steals. Tempted, he breaks all the taboos, there is a risk, really knowing how it ends. But even a passing knowledge of the subject discussed is “worth” in his opinion the worst effects. What “consequences” are, the baby understands has been about six years or a little later, at least once after witnessing a theft investigation. Want or do not want and have to return the stolen item.
The quantity and quality of communication
Some people believe that stealing is unique to children from disadvantaged families . In such families the child stealing is just a way of life for this family. But life often proves the opposite: in a seemingly affluent families, where the material level is sufficient and the children are given a lot of time, people steal too. Perhaps the issue is not quantity, but quality of communication?
Following the desire to keep up appearances, many parents are told their child that “to take someone else’s” freely bring work with something that is bad. The child, believing in the authority and infallibility of parents, following their example and could not understand why criticize him if he does the same as mom and dad.
Theft can also be a symptom or a symptom of psychological disorder in the baby.
Mentally ill child steals, often not knowing for what. It is virtually impossible for anything to stop. Bans or punishment is of no effect. In this case, help can only be a specialist.
But if the specialist believes that the baby is perfectly healthy, and he still continues to steal, and all indiscriminately, think about it: if he does not submit in this way signals that in a life so short, but most of all your tenderness and affection in which he experiences the true deficit. It depends on you, I will repeat it to him tomorrow or not.
As a child to teach him not to misappropriate
Don’t react too badly . Of course, you will be angry and upset, but still, try to stay calm. Don’t blame the child stealing and don’t call him a thief. Charges will not solve the problem, and the child may begin to lie to avoid punishment or disapproval. Instead, acknowledge the existence of the problem and work together to cope with it.
Try to find the possible cause of theft . how securely she was hidden. For a start, try to find the answers to five fundamental questions: What happened? Where and when did this happen? With whom was your child? Why did he steal? Unfortunately, the direct question “Why did you do it?” to nothing lead.
Explain why stealing is bad . Try to explain why stealing is wrong. Children often find it difficult to understand the difference between “borrow” and “take”, so you have to teach the child to distinguish public from private.
If your child is older, you can discuss with him the possible consequences of stealing . such as loss of friends, bad reputation, loss of trust of people and problems with the law. Of course, one conversation about honesty not enough to change this behavior.
Make observations and reflect on the situation . The child often does not think about the harmful consequences of theft. Try to put toddler to the place of his sacrifice, and to feel how it is insulting, when someone steals your stuff. You need to explain to the child that other children feel when you’ve lost something, as he would feel when another child unexpectedly will assign him a favorite toy or thing. If the child is small, resolve the situation with his favorite toy. Ask: “What will you feel, if I steal your favorite toy? Would you like that? This would be fair?” The older child may ask: “Imagine you found out from your wallet stolen all the money. What do you feel? What would you say to the person who stole them?”.
Responsibility for their own behavior . The child should know that if he did not confess to the theft, it will entail investigation of parents or other people, sooner or later, the theft will be revealed and, anyway, it will be necessary to give the stolen item. And this is all much more frustrating than to tell the truth about what happened.
The restoration of justice . Go with your child and return someone else’s item or toy to its owner, but do it so that he felt no shame. The child should know exactly what mom and dad do not approve of stealing.
Parents are the main role models . If you want your children to be honest, give them this example personally. Start with assessing their behavior in everyday life. For example, had you not paying, candy or a small “souvenir” from the restaurant or hotel (ashtray, soap dish, etc.), which take not supposed to, or was brought stationery home from work? If Yes, then think how it can be an example for the child.
Don’t care, but the living part
The most important thing in a child — his parents. To give him a large part of ourselves is the best way to solve the problem. Thanks to the friendly participation, and not pushy custody, he will feel that you are family.
Only in the case when the child will understand that you truly love him, he wants to be like you. If the child really wants to be like you and earn your location, he will begin to understand the benefit of control over their actions. That is why it is so important that he had a good opinion about you. Not feeling the support, support and confidence, which gives him your love, he will be forced to steal what cannot acquire in a natural way. It is very important that you have good relations. Only in this case will be able to inspire the child’s conception of true decency and honesty.