Recommendations – Psychologist parents Parents of a teenager

1 . The impact on the teenager can only be mediated. Needed to change tactics on the part of adult it is necessary to keep the overall pattern of relationship with the child despite the fact that the parent is the child’s age changes. If the parent is not willing to change tactics fail against a child, a psychologist further useless. Prohibitions on the juvenile act!

Examples of the indirect impact:” …I heard somewhere that this helps, I want to try..” or” … I wouldn’t want to do that, but think about it, try it yourself…”.

2 . The circle shapes the identity of the teenager . You must know your child’s friends and know their effects! It is important to choose the activity. Non slip “good” children to friends — not yet changed the scope of activities. Not forbid friendship with ” bad” children, invite them home, try to learn them. Relatively poor understanding!

Remember, a teenager in the foreground – the emotions. The teenager does not have to fear and avoid at home! Be deprived of a teenager even “ bad” friends ( you can just muttering under his breath — ” well, that at least you do not make”).

Scary if the teen has no friends!

The Golden rule of a teenage friendship! ( there are character traits such as loyalty, reliability).

3 . Parental authority falls is a must take for granted! The crisis will pass and credibility will be restored. Avoid phrases ” why are you rude to me?”, ” what were you thinking?”

The teenager does not have to be always ready to fight. Parents need to withdraw. The teenager ’ s horns, spines,”, he needs someone to chop. Better move back.

Parents can not artificially increase your credibility! Teenager – test psychological maturity of the parents.

4. Morality obedience changing morality of equality. Put the child next to him.

5. The life of parents for children, and next to them. The lives of parents should not be dissolved in a child.

6 . It is necessary to reduce personal free time of a teenager. ( lying on the sofa, balgonie). Personal, free time teenager: 40 hours per month rule, 70-60 hours per month — a risk factor! 120 — antisocial behavior!

7 . Put the worries of the available teenager. Let him ( her) to earn as physical fatigue and economic independence is the best medicine. Teenager should feel that working for himself.

Adulthood is the presence of justice!

Parents of Teens: ” You want to be an adult . Please, circle your duties!”. But the teenager should feel confident. You must teach him that is worth.

8 . The time spent on teacher training teenager is not proportional to the result!

Parents to educate themselves, and not the procedure.

9. Provide emotional balance. If necessary, remove spiritual goods, ease school problems, child zoom in to the house where You — his Confessor.” there is No better friend than a sister mother. Home is my refuge”. The child is programmed to mark. You cannot be afraid to teach bad marks.

The child should decide for themselves to write the mark control myself. The child should not be afraid to go to school. The great commandment ” don’t lie, don’t be afraid!”.

10. Repair mode complaints and grumbling. Teenager this burden. Better times will come. Improve your mood and turn a teenager into a pessimist and a cynic, and no change for the better will not change its nature.

11 . Not justify the worst expectations of their children! The child knows that it is waiting for a good candy for bad – punishment. The teenager is psychologically ready-punishment does not reach the goal. You need to change tactics. Avoid scenes after the parent meeting, as a teenager waiting for the scene.

Remember do not scold the teenager in the presence of a teenager, do not scold the teenager on the situation, not humiliate habit.

The ” stub” and terrible punishment — not to talk, sulking.

12 . Not necessary to adopt the standpoint of a teenager. If it does not coincide with yours, we must assume, as it relates to Your. Correctly pick arguments and try to convince. A teenager can’t be a referee. His opinion on the possibilities considered.

13. The crisis of adolescence – normativity.

Remember — the improvement and stabilization will occur.

14. ” Pity, indulge children, because no one knows what troubles await them in the hereafter” ( M. Bulgakov).

“ Treat” in a psychological sense, means happiness — when people understand you.

The adolescent should be sparing with his teenage opportunities.

15. “Think positively”. One thought that all will be well with a positive potential ( Energy follows thought), the child is not created loser complex. Unable to restrain aggression, we get Otpetye agress.Oia

16. The main problem of teen — likening thoughts Teens likened each other close adult. Is transplant psychological thoughts, more abstract reformed ( i.e. always negative answers to all the problems, life appears in black and white). Still, in the lives of adolescents with more questions than answers ” Who am I? What am I?” If the teenager is not an answer — a dead end ( possible suicide attempts). General denial often turns into a form of ” nobody likes me”.

17. The problem of sex education.

Sex education is not equal to sex education. Sex education for girls as future women, boy — as a future man goes from birth. Sex education should be appropriate to the age of the child. Remember — a teenager he never asks questions.

All the necessary information he needs to obtain from specialist literature. The task of parents — to help him in getting information.

18. Adolescents differ in the psychology of rebellion. They are revolutionaries ( it’s wrong, it must be destroyed to build a good) Need to direct this energy in a beneficial way ( sports clubs, creative collective action).

Teenager looking for credibility. Adults go to extremes becoming obsolete ones ( don’t know their grown children), others are beginning to play up ” to play in the youth”. As a result, adolescents begin to retreat into himself, ashamed of their parents.

It is necessary to be a competent person to have an opinion on all questions, then the young person will come to You.

19. Remember! Not only children disappoint their parents, but parents – children.

20. There should be procedures for the initiation of adulthood. The young person will feel the threshold of ” All I’m an adult”.

21. The teenager is not weakness of will and weakness of purpose. Ensure-distant future ( a year, for 5 years).

22 . Provide autonomy teenager. Respect his wishes.

23 . CONCLUSION: the savagery of children is the result of the savagery adults.

 

If the child does not respond to treatment and requests
Last week in the newsletter I asked the question: “What is troubling you the most in the child, myself, my family?” After that, I was threatened by an avalanche of…

Continue reading →

Between her husband and child
With surprise, resentment and fear to notice that her husband is cold to our child, who is four years. To me he is much better, warmer, than to him. There…

Continue reading →

Children from dysfunctional families
We are talking about children from disadvantaged families, i.e. children, dysfunctional families, about what happens to the child if he is in a dysfunctional family. What is a dysfunctional family?…

Continue reading →