How to build relationships with your teenage child?
“Oh, this transitional age”,” many parents sigh and complain about incomprehensible to them the child’s behavior. Transitional or difficult is usually called the period of life of children from 12 to 16 years. This time, many moms and dads waiting with genuine anxiety. But is it really dangerous adolescence, maybe the excitement of adults greatly exaggerated? Let’s try to understand this question.
One against all
Psychologists believe adolescence crisis and even dangerous. It was at this time boys and girls grow dramatically, changing both externally and internally. During this period the child usually is a reassessment of values, he tries to understand his “I” in the world.
In addition, teenagers undergoing significant hormonal changes in the body, psychological state becomes unstable: the child’s mood changes dramatically, he for no apparent reason can yell at their parents or suddenly burst into tears…
Teens covered with one desire – in whatever began to look older. If earlier the child obediently fulfilled the instructions of their parents, now he is able to rebel against household responsibilities. The teenager may seem to infringe upon his rights, and he begins to Express his displeasure.
Psychologists emphasize that the child is in adolescence all the forces fighting for their freedom. To do this it can create a scandal, to leave home, to try to smoke and even drink. In this situation adults need to remember that their children need not so much freedom, how much is a demonstration right in front of them to make their own decisions. So parents should try to avoid conflict and try to talk quietly with the child on an equal footing.
Often parents do not understand why the boy-excellence turned into uncontrollable bully, and the girl is the demure became boorish girl. Psychologists explain that in such metamorphoses is not surprising: so teenagers want to increase your credibility among peers, to become leaders in the classroom, but sometimes doing it just to annoy their parents and teachers.
Typically, during the transition period a teenager can go to extremes. He’ll act maturely considered, then suddenly turn into a fussy baby and to make a lot of stupid things. Teenager can dramatically change your Hobbies: interested in street dancing, then switches to parkour or skydiving.
To be ready to communicate
Adolescents in transition can get into trouble. In such cases, they often turn in on themselves and even stop to chat with the outside world. This is alarming for adults, meaning that the child urgently needs your help. It is likely that the teenager is undergoing serious stress. In this situation, adults can recommend the following:
– to be ready at any moment to communicate with your son or daughter;
– not interrupting, to listen patiently to the child. You should know that if a teenager talking to an adult, then trust him. Therefore, you must try not to inadvertently scare his trust;
– do not make the teenager is too much and don’t get your hopes up. Such moral goods is difficult to bear even for an adult;
– pay attention to the positive qualities of the child, praise him more and otherwise maintain.
To educate by example
Specialists say that teenagers are acutely any kind of insincerity on the part of adults. So parents, before asking your son or daughter, for example, cleaning your room, you need to often clean up the apartment and to raise their child by example.
Psychologists warn that awkward age – quite a challenging time for Teens and their parents.
Parents agonize over the question: “How much freedom to give to the child?”. And everyone responds to it differently. But most importantly, say psychologists, adults need to adhere to the Golden rule – not to overreact.
Experts distinguish two categories of moms and dads. First give their child complete freedom. They allowed his education to chance, do not know what company spends the time their son or daughter is doing. Of course, adults behave frivolously. Left to himself, the child may get into bad company.
Another type of parents – those that do not give their child a step without their help. They control his thoughts and actions, ignoring the person. Enhanced control of parents – another extreme. «I perfectly know what is best for my child’ – thinking moms and dads of this type. However, in the future their child will be difficult to make decisions, because for him everything is always decided by adults.
Patience and understanding
According to experts, parents should understand that their child – is a person who has feelings and weaknesses, their opinions, attitudes. And adults – to support the adolescent and, if necessary, to help him.
Psychologists warn that many children in their Teens love to experiment, putting on different behavioral masks. Moreover, these masks are not always positive. Parents such experiments are often stressed out. Meanwhile, adults need to remember that the way a teenager trying to find his place in the world. The probability that these extravagant antics over time will be.
To help and to forgive
It is very important that the teenager knew that, despite their mistakes, the two in school and problems with their peers, he always has a reliable back – home, loving parents, to whom he in any difficult situation can come to them for help.
Tips for parents
Interested in the Hobbies of the child.
Be aware of his favorite computer games and movies.
Listen with your child to the music of his favorite band. Mark, if you like something (the child will be pleasantly surprised and very satisfied).
Remember, praise is never too much.
Despite the fact that the teenager seems to be an adult, he still needs moral support. If the boy plays soccer, praise him for every goal scored. If the child is keen on skate, admire done a difficult trick. If your daughter embroider picture, genuinely surprised by her unusual works.
Often talk heart to heart.
Despite the workload, finding the time to communicate with children. Better ask teenagers questions that they will be able to give a detailed response, rather than trying to escape the avaricious “Yes” or “no”. It is best to talk to your child casually – in the kitchen while cooking dinner or on the way to school, not focusing on communicating special attention.
Remember the youth
To better understand adolescent psychologists advise parents to remember yourself at the age of 13. You can ask to help grandparents. Will be curious to find their old stuff, sort photos, and then tell us about yourself teenage son or daughter, then remembering your experiences. Surely after that teen open adult with another, unexpected side.
Experts recommend parents during adolescence the child to be his older friend, communicating on an equal footing. We should strive to base the relationship with the child reigned understanding and trust. And then no transition age will not be afraid!