Often wrong upbringing of children in the family leads to very serious consequences, the child may withdraw into themselves, do poorly in school, not to fulfill the wishes of adults, moreover, he may appear neurotic deviations, until the disease is neurosis.
The sensibility of the child, the propensity to anxiety, helplessness, vulnerability, and vulnerability while controversial, is not always reasonable requirements of the parents, can easily hurt the child and lead to nervous breakdowns or total disobedience.
For full mental development children need encouragement and emotional support for adults, recognition in the family and among peers. In dealing with other many children lack the spontaneity, confidence, ease in relationships, vitality and mood — many of these things are brought up in the family.
The formation behavior of children in the family
The deviation of the traits and behavior of children is formed as a result of deviations in family relations and parenting. To change the personality of the parents, or one of the parents leads to the development of conflict situations in the family, and create problems in the education of children.
Therefore parents is superimposed dual responsibility for themselves and for their children. Adults should adjust their own behavior, their moral qualities and relations. Insistence to his parents should be above the requirements of the child — this is the basis of parental authority.
In difficult moments of life, children should be confident in supporting and understanding their parents. Parents should be for their children, closest friends, understanding the complexity and inconsistency of their inner world and on the basis of this understanding to build their relationships with children.
In order to better understand the causes of poor performance and indiscipline of students, it is necessary to know the opinion of parents about their child’s behavior in the family, so parents are encouraged to fill out a Questionnaire to parents from the package of psychological tests “Relationship”.
The questionnaire filled by the parents, provides an opportunity to characterize the behavior of the child in the family:
diligence and obedience,
the implementation of the orders of parents,
sensitivity and responsiveness to parents and friends,
simplicity and modesty in relations to family and friends,
criticality to other people,
attitude to homework,
attitude to performing social work,
the child’s relationship to their class, school.
The survey results will help to analyze the behavior of the child in the family, attitude to study, the reasons for his indiscipline and poor academic performance and will enable the teacher and the school psychologist and parents to correct the child’s behaviour and attitudes to learning.
An important condition for normal relations in the family between parents and children is the mutual awareness of parents and children, in this case, and to form good attitudes to learning. Mutual awareness among parents and children gives you the opportunity to come to an understanding and respect for each other’s views.
In joint cases not only parents open nature of children, but children learn the complex world of adults, their way of thinking and experiences, getting to know their parents. Parents can ask the children, giving of our time, feelings, providing them with a decent life.
If the family atmosphere was friendly and responsive, the child brought up on the positive examples of their parents in an atmosphere of mutual love, care and help to grow the same sensitive and responsive.
Parents who are afraid of overloading children in school, save them from domestic duties, making a big mistake, because in this case, the child may become selfish and neglect the work at all.
In order to properly assess the motives of your children, you need to understand them, to know the direction of their personalities, interests, level of knowledge, skills. If there are no such information about children, in such a case we have mutual communication difficulties.
Very useful to discuss with children family and social problems, to listen to their voices, to respect, to correct and guide them in the right direction, forming a sense of responsibility, self-esteem of the individual, if necessary, to admit their mistakes.
Weak mutual interest of parents and children creates both sides of a negative attitude to each other, children generally disappointed in the communication and conveys their attitude to parents on the entire world of adults.
Parents, in turn, feel the bitterness of disappointment in my children, hurt and disappointment, don’t believe them, don’t respect.
Relationship between parents and children, the specifics of their communication among themselves, in which these relationships occur, influence the formation of personality of children. The parents that satisfies only the needs of children, and with them not having mental contact, as a rule, problems arise in educating and communicating with children.
The questionnaire of the Parent relation from package “Relationship” is designed to identify the attitude of parents seeking psychological help in the upbringing of children and the problems of communicating with them.
The test results show the integrated emotional attitude towards the child by the parents, as they perceive it (accept or reject). The best relation of parents to the child in cooperation with the child, in the case of complete symbiosis with the parents, the child threatens the fate of a person is dependent and insecure, authoritarian parent — this is a permanent control over the child. The loser, according to parents, infantile and untenable.
Analysis of family education
Raising children can be characterized by certain parties in the relationship of parents to children:
In communicating with children, parents often compensate for their feelings, their nervous condition, often turning to shouting and physical effects, suppressing their children authoritarianism and pedantry.
Parents, unaware of their shortcomings, demand elimination of the deficiencies in children who, blindly imitating the parents don’t understand his guilt.
Parents say one thing and do another, while putting children in a deadlock.
Parents children can become friends and establish a trusting, warm relationship.
In this case you can list the main parameters of a violation of education:
The lack of understanding of the originality of the inner world of children.
The failure of children, their personality and characteristics.
The mismatch of requirements and expectations of the parents.
The inflexibility of the parents.
The uneven relationships with children in different periods of their lives.
Inconsistency in the treatment of children.
The inconsistency of the relationship between the parents.
Affectivity — anger, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear.
Dominance — betaagonist, categorical, complete submission children.
Gipersotsialnost — education without taking into account the individualities of the child.
Distrust of the capabilities of children.
A lack of sensitivity.
If the parents cannot cope with their personal problems without involving them in their children, while providing them with a warm friendly atmosphere of support and love, parents and children develop very good relationships and understanding.
Questionnaire Family education from the package of psychological tests “Relationship” allows us to diagnose major violations of family upbringing and their character.