Do I Have to spoil their children?
Nobody likes “spoiled” children are selfish, insensitive, demanding, capricious. But how to raise a child, lest he grow up to be? What actions can you spoil a baby?
When my children were still very young, I was often told that I’ll spoil children, because too caressing and comforting them when they cry. Fortunately, I never fell for that stuff.
You can’t spoil a baby with his love. Children just need love, food and fresh air. The problem is, what to call “love.”
When we give children all that they want in material terms, we don’t give them love. Often parents think that by inundating children’s toys or to satisfy their other desires, and show her your love. But therein lies the risk to raise a spoiled child.
There are three negative consequences of dabbling in the child in material terms:
This forms dependent behavior – things and fun substitute for the lack of emotion that is felt by the child. Too many adults are seeking to fill an emotional emptiness inside, buying unnecessary, in General, things or doing more extreme sports. If they have stress, instead find a cause, they try to remove it with the help of shopping, food, alcohol, etc. When we buy your child too many toys, too many sweets or allow too much to watch TV, we don’t show them your love. This gives them the addictive behavior.
Often parents satisfy every whim of the child, forgetting about their own needs. If you constantly indulge the child to its detriment, then the child will understand as a matter of course that the needs of others can not be ignored, if only my own desires were satisfied. If the child is not considered to be with their own parents, it is unlikely to be considered and with other people. If you do not respect themselves, then the child will not respect you.
One of the features of our materialistic society is that children learn to evaluate themselves through the assessment of other people and children, based on how they look, how they have toys, as far as the road is their clothes. Parents should show the child that they love him for his inner qualities – caring, compassion, zest for life, etc. – and not for how they look, how they behave, or learn how. Then the child will not be so dependent on someone else’s assessment. Genuine self-esteem always comes from within, from the consciousness that you are appreciated for who you are. When we overly pamper baby stuff or clothes, causing the envy of friends, we form his dependence on others ‘opinions, others’ approval, which is only based on its appearance and the possession of material goods.
We can spoil a child with material things, but we can’t spoil him with your love and attention. Love is acceptance of the child as he is. This understanding, compassion and care. You show your love by spending time with your child alone while playing with it, listening to it. Your love gives the child a sense of security and confidence. And no wealth can’t replace. It is also impossible to spoil a baby gifts, even frequent, if you give them because you want to, and not because the child asked for them.
For a small child is absolutely normal to be picky, he likes all sorts of things, and any thing he wants to get immediately. Many parents feel guilty when they are forced to deny a child, and he begins to cry. But they are afraid to spoil the child if you yield to him.
If you surrender the baby due to some false reasons (because of guilt or that he didn’t cry), the child will soon learn that you are easy to manipulate. But we should not say no on the basis of incorrect motives, for example, to show the child that you are the boss. The child will feel it and will be even more demanding.
Deny a child only when it is really necessary and due to serious reasons. Try always to explain his refusal, even if you think that the child is too young to understand your explanation. This way you will be able to build with your child relationship based on mutual respect, which will be particularly important when your child becomes a teenager. After you have explained the reason for the refusal, keep right on to the end. If you don’t succumb to the whims, then very soon the child will understand their futility.
If you feel guilty, remember that the child does not stop loving you because of your refusal. Children feel safe and more confident when you know that someone is responsible for them and keep the whole situation under control. Children still do not know how to cope with their impulses and whims. Their bad behavior scares them, so it is important to help them cope with a difficult situation.
Children need attention, but they should not demand too much attention or strive to take all parental age. From a very early age, to accustom the child to ensure that he could occupy himself. To do this, surround him with toys and books that he could easily get. Playing outside with their peers will also teach him independence.
Often children require our immediate attention. Teach your child patience and ability to wait. If you are busy, and the child needs from you, so you immediately started with him, ask him to wait 5 minutes. Gradually increase this time. Also don’t let the child to interrupt your conversation with another adult. Patience is a learned skill, and the earlier you start to teach a child to patience, the easier it is for him (and you) will be in the future.
Do not try to save the child from all difficulties and problems in his life, otherwise he will never be independent and learn to cope with them myself. In particular, this applies to his school homework. Of course, in some situations, he can not do without your help, and the child should know that he can always count on you. But in General allow him to cope with problems and learn from their mistakes.
Don’t forget: every child is unique and shared recipes, true to the average normal child may be different or even not suitable for your child. Therefore, you should have a head on your shoulders and always consult with a physician, even proven remedies.
Background information provided on the site is obtained through an anonymous survey of parents and is a reflection of their views and assessments that do not necessarily reflect the opinion and point of view of the organizers of the site.